They banned it

We sat near a local coffee shop and started our usual conversation on controversial topics. Sipping his coffee he looked at me and began,

“Consider this. I have some random enquiry to do and go around knocking doors. I go to one particular house and I knock the door. The landlady invites me in and politely offers me to sit and gets something to drink. However she speaks to me sitting behind a curtain. I cannot see her when I speak to her. Now tell me how will I feel?”

To this pretty straight forward question I instantly replied “Offended of course. That’s rude man”.

He looked at me with a half-smile and said “Well that’s what I feel when I am around someone with a burqa.”

For a moment I almost spilled my coffee. Gathering my thoughts I said “Is it fair to compare a type of clothing with that?”

“Aah” he exclaimed, “Just think how different is that?”

“Maybe not much, but is that not a matter of religious freedom? I understand the secularist ideals of the French that prompted them to do that but to go to an extent of clothing …. Is that not too much?”

He shot back “Come on, when Saudi can force women to wear them why can’t the French force them to remove the same? Or should we allow nudists to roam on the streets nude because it is their freedom?” I smiled and he continued “well let me not digress here. Do you agree that any freedom has a limit and the extent to which it is implemented can be restricted?”

“Like….. Do you mean you have the right to shout as much as you want until your neighbor complains?”

“Well yes let go by that example. As French I have the right to say practice your religious freedom but not to the extent that it actually offends me. Wear it if you like in your home but not in public places”

“Don’t you think it is actually being too touchy? The women who wear them may now be restricted to even go out in that case. They may even be denied of basic needs like education. Just because you are offended don’t you think you are actually restricting them and even pushing them even further back?”

He gave his usual half smile “Let them fight for it and evolve. Why is it so difficult for them not to cover their faces just in public and that too only in France? I heard terrorists use the same. That could even be a security threat. If they want to live in France, why don’t they just live and let live”

My mouth was wide open when I heard final words “Live and let live”, it was used by the other side only. Support or oppose burqa ban but either side has very deep and valid points. I smiled and finished my coffee. Well yes I should say I allowed him to conclude with those words

Next day, I did see the final draft of the bill passed by the French govt. The words “burqa”, “Islam” or even “religion” was not found. Hurray…. Well done France J.

Wanted to thank Ravi Maams for encouraging me to finish this long unfinished post. Finally!!

My younger brother - spoilt by my mother

It has been a while since I wrote. I really feel inspired to write this post today and it feels good.

I was 7 years old and my younger brother Nicky was 5. Nicky has a handicap. He cannot think or run fast. Doctor gave us hope. He said his handicap can be cured. All that Nicky needed was attention and some training and the handicap will disappear as he grows up. Doc liked my bro too. Like my mom he was another person who wanted to see my bro grow up strong.

My mom was all protective about my bro. She would not let him play on the ground, walk alone on the road or mingle with other kids. She feared other kids will tease him and that would kill his confidence. She took extra care for him and showered him with all love which sometimes made me feel a little jealous.

Dad was always about learning. He made us read books. The more pages we read, more the candies we get. That really made learning interesting. I would eagerly look at my mom who gives me candies every time after I am done with my reading. However Mom started giving more candies to my brother so that that encourages him. He got more candies even if he did not read even half the number of pages I read. I protested and said that was unfair. Mom replied "Understand dear, your brother needs help. He is not as strong as you are." I agreed as I thought Mom knows the best. I knew she is all about giving us care and love without any expectation. Nicky started eating more candies. He knew he got a free pass. He sometimes even faked his handicap to get more candies. That made me angry but as I started getting older I started caring less about the candies.

Dad's way of making me learn really paid off well. I learned a lot. I did pretty good in school. Everyone saw me evolve as a stronger person. Nicky however did not grow. He did not do well in school. He did not learn much. He continued to get freebies though. Even when he did something good and earned his candies, our relatives believed that he got them for free. This did hurt Nicky. He felt disrespected by our relatives. That made him so low on confidence that he did not feel like learning. It weakened him more. Doc could not figure out why his condition is not improving.

I got a cash award for writing. I bought some candies home. When I was opening the box, Nicky demanded "I anyway get most of it right?". I looked at him with my eyes wide open. He continued "Well you know I am the weaker person and I deserve more." I noticed some pride in his eyes when he said "I am weaker". I went to my mom and said "Mom you made him weak and also somehow made him feel proud about it".

Well with this piece I want to say my country is my mom and Nicky can be replaced with any underprivileged group - Women, Backward classes, minority etc...

As a woman I say the "33% Reservation for Women" bill in the parliament is shameful. Creating constituencies where only women can compete is certainly not the path for women empowerment. This will only lead to women with political background (wife/daughter/sister of male candidate) come into parliament. Does the bill care about empowerment or just numbers? Does it mean women should be kept weak and slowly feel proud about it, just the way Nicky felt? Does it just mean vote bank politics? Well they say the bill is going to expire in 15 years. Well when was the reservation for backward classes supposed to expire?

Allow Nicky to grow. Allow him to fall and learn from the fall. Protect him from being exploited. But please don't give him freebies like reservation and spoil him. Mom listen to me now.

A theist, an atheist and an agnostic

Living in an on-campus residential apartment is a rich experience. Varieties of people, international community makes life simply wonderful. People with different beliefs always gather to party, drink, dine or watch movies in the common lounge. I was involved into this interesting conversation (well at least I find so) between people of different beliefs.

Atheist: A very easy way to prove God doesn’t exist. God is all powerful and good. If that is so there must be no evil. Since u see evil in the world it either means God is not all powerful or not fully good. If God is not all powerful why do we worship him? If he is not fully good what is the point in worshiping him. It is very simple logic. This proves that there is no God.

Theist: Don’t always depend on science and logic for complicated issues like God.

Atheist: Come on, we are familiar with science and logic only. Talk in these grounds.

Theist: You need faith to understand about God. You can’t rationalize everything

Atheist: Faith doesn’t mean anything. Educated people are expected to question and ask for proofs and not accept things as they are.

Agnostic: I beg to differ. (Looking at atheist) You cannot say that u rely purely on logic. You make certain assumptions too. You rely on the accuracy of the instruments u use. I can say lot more. Science and logic cannot explain every phenomenon happening. Take NDE (near death experience) for instance.

Atheist: Well then how can u answer the proofs I said first? I mean how could you say God is all powerful?

Agnostic: If I say “Love conquers all.” Will u accept it? Same way, you can’t argue that there are people living without love.

Atheist: You are using the word play. How can you believe God exists just like that?

Agnostic: Can you disprove that he doesn’t exist? We all don’t know. Better to admit what we don’t know as we don’t know.

Theist: Well talking about science, we say that there was a big bang and all planets and stars came and then coacervates came and then life evolved. Who do you think made the environment for all these?

Agnostic: they need not be planned. It could have been a coincidence or a result of randomness.

Atheist: Come on don’t now talk about religion. Don’t say that God created Adam and Eve and we all came to existence.

Theist: What makes u disagree with that?

Agnostic: Ok. I give it to you. Now let me assume that God created Adam and Eve. Why did he do that? What does he expect us to do or what does he want from us?

Theist: He doesn’t expect anything. He is the giver.

Agnostic and Atheist: Ohh then where is the need to worship him?

Theist: Thank him for the gifts he had given to you. If you live in the guidelines he had given to you, then you will be enlightened.

Atheist: Why should God expect this “thank you” from us? If he is really fair he should enlighten everyone no matter they accept him or not.

Theist: I think this argument leads nowhere. Just like you love your parents with no reason I say I believe and love God. I cannot prove or give any explanations but that doesn’t mean that I am wrong. Religion makes a man to lead a good life and makes him help others and love his fellow brothers.

Atheist: Well I don’t see any point in believing in supernatural unless I see any miracle happening. Regarding religions, they are just a set of rules that you are supposed to follow and not question why. I agree that religions came into practice to make man lead a good life and help his fellow brothers. But now at this present world when people are killing each other what is the use in having religions? Better abolish them all and let peace rule the world.

Agnostic: Well, God - whether he exists or not I really don’t care. If at all he exists I think the better way is to pursue The Divine would be not through religions but through your own personal way. And regarding religion I think people should consider religion as something personal and not kill each other in the name of religion. Of course no religion preaches anything bad to humanity but people using religion in a wrong way made me hate religions. I personally place humanity above divinity. I don’t need a religion to be good. My love for humanity will prevent me from hurting any of my fellow brothers. Man could be a mistake of God or God could be a mistake of man’s (Nietzsche). I somehow like the latter.

The theist smiled at these words followed by the atheist. Three of them agreed to disagree on their ideas. There ended the conversation.

Women rights

Disclaimer: You may not agree with this post. Thittanumna dhayiriyama commentsla thittavum.

I want to make this post too in the form of a conversation. One person wanted to make a movie and he was asking questions to people randomly. Somehow he wanted to talk about women’s rights to me.

Q: What do you think about women’s rights?
A: Yes. We have rights.

Q: No, I didn’t mean that - the struggle for rights.
A: I don’t believe in that.

Q: Strange being a female how could u say that?
A: It is a struggle against whom? Govt? Laws?

Q: Well there is no law that actually discriminates, so it is a struggle against some practices. Let me call it a struggle against men.
A: Who are they to give us rights? I don’t consider that they have any rights to give us rights.

Q: So you mean to say women must not ask for rights?
A: Yes. No one can give us rights. The struggle must be taking back the rights and not asking for rights.

Q: So u say that people who are fighting now are fools?
A: I didn’t say that. I don’t believe in their way.

Q: So what is that troubling u in that?
A: Well when I see some actresses who talk about women’s rights, I feel bad. They are the ones who make women look like just glamour specimens and they talk about rights.

Q: Then who can talk?
A: Women who have done something and could practice what they preach. I could think of Kalpana Chawla and Mother Teresa.

Q: But they are dead.
A: There are many like that still alive.

Q: So you say actresses and common women can’t talk about rights?
A: Well the whole purpose of talking about women’s rights is to reach the masses and create awareness. What is the point in wearing funky and glamorous costumes and talking about rights in clubs and television shows? Women who really want to create awareness can dress up properly go to all remote villages and talk in tamil or the regional language. They can talk about the education needs and what a women can and must do. It must be for the sake of service and creating awareness and not for popularity.

Q: What do u think about women's day?
A: Initially I used to think like this. We are almost half the population in this world. It is not fair having a day for women. When did these start? 1990s maybe. Did we jump from Venus on that day? What is the point? Now I understood that it is actually Labour Women rights day. Some women who had been working in a factory were asking for equal wages. They were killed on that particular day. So it is more a day for mourning fo those dead women.

Q: So what are the problems and what solutions do u propose?
A: I can list n number of problems dowry to female infanticide. But the bigger problem is to identify the root cause of the problem. If females do not make themselves cheap, I bet things would be better. It is all in the hands of educated women to be a role model and create awareness about these things. Instead of making noise they can do something seriously. Actions speak louder than words. This is all what I think about this issue.

Forwarded mails

I wanted to thank all my friends and family who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2003,2004 & 2005.

Because of your kindness:

* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.

* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.

* I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.

I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.

* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.

* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.

* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. (Funny that girl, she's been 7 since 1993...)

* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program would arrive soon.

* My free Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the free passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland.

* Still open to help some from Bulgaria who wants to use my account to transfer his uncle property of some hundred millions $.

* Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding t hose Ganesh Vandana,Tirupathi Balaji pics , Hanumaun chalisa etc.. now most of those 'Wishes' are already married (to someone else)

Political views

I was asking my friend back home what was happening in Tamil Nadu. He talked about the rains and then began “u know Vijayakanth is into politics”. I made fun asking “Is he planning to dance in the parliament wearing all cranky costumes?” He replied “Arey people here believe that he would do something really great if he becomes our chief minister. People are dumb here. Tamil Nadu will never prosper with people having this kind of attitude.” I resented saying, “Don’t just say people are dumb. People are not educated. So they just go by fantasies. Developed countries have educated people and so they vote wisely.” He replied back saying “So u mean to say education makes the difference right? I don’t believe in majority basis. Majority of the people are dumb. Voting rights must be given to people with at least common sense.” I couldn’t say anything but I simply said, “Well, that may not be fair. But your suggestion sounds good. We would have never had film stars into politics like MGR or Jayalalitha. Let us just hope people get educated soon.”

Next day I had a conversation with an American, a sensitive topic to speak with Americans – about the Iraq war. I expressed my opinion that the war is unnecessary. He smiled and asked, “What do u think is a bigger lie Vibha? I didn’t have affair with that woman or Sadam has weapons of mass destruction, which costed the lives of millions of people?” I asked back “u mean to say that ur president is not efficient enough? Majority of Americans seem to like him though.” This American replied back “Majority are the dumb ones.” I pondered, “ People here are pretty much well educated and quiet aware of things going on inside the country.” He gave a big laugh and showed some newspaper clippings that contained some statements made by George W. Bush.
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
"The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country."
"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system."
That American asked me “Now what do u think?” I replied “ Maybe u r right.” I was not actually thinking of the American president. I was more worried about Vijayakanth and my beloved state Tamil Nadu.

As u grow old....

As u grow old u learn some things. Now I feel that I am growing. Yes I have learnt some things. I am starting to understand me.

I have come to a conclusion that I am foolish and stupid. I can be cheated easily. I just believe people.
I have not been cheated till now, not because there aren’t any con men around me, but I am blessed that somehow I am not trapped. (Dear agnostics, I have survived because God is compassionate to me. Err well I am agnostic too, (maybe my luck) :P)

I am a really childish. I just come to quick conclusions. This character is dangerous but however there is one another childish element in me – I am not much interested in serious things as small things interest me. This character has helped me a lot.

I understand that this looks like a confession or something. I wanted to tell this out.

“Beautiful Bodies and beautiful personalities rarely coincide – Erick”

I now feel that this quote is true. Believe me!!