Prevent Hangovers. Stay Drunk!!

They banned it

2011-12-01T05:11:00.000-08:00

We sat near a local coffee shop and started our usual conversation on controversial topics. Sipping his coffee he looked at me and began,

“Consider this. I have some random enquiry to do and go around knocking doors. I go to one particular house and I knock the door. The landlady invites me in and politely offers me to sit and gets something to drink. However she speaks to me sitting behind a curtain. I cannot see her when I speak to her. Now tell me how will I feel?”

To this pretty straight forward question I instantly replied “Offended of course. That’s rude man”.

He looked at me with a half-smile and said “Well that’s what I feel when I am around someone with a burqa.”

For a moment I almost spilled my coffee. Gathering my thoughts I said “Is it fair to compare a type of clothing with that?”

“Aah” he exclaimed, “Just think how different is that?”

“Maybe not much, but is that not a matter of religious freedom? I understand the secularist ideals of the French that prompted them to do that but to go to an extent of clothing …. Is that not too much?”

He shot back “Come on, when Saudi can force women to wear them why can’t the French force them to remove the same? Or should we allow nudists to roam on the streets nude because it is their freedom?” I smiled and he continued “well let me not digress here. Do you agree that any freedom has a limit and the extent to which it is implemented can be restricted?”

“Like….. Do you mean you have the right to shout as much as you want until your neighbor complains?”

“Well yes let go by that example. As French I have the right to say practice your religious freedom but not to the extent that it actually offends me. Wear it if you like in your home but not in public places”

“Don’t you think it is actually being too touchy? The women who wear them may now be restricted to even go out in that case. They may even be denied of basic needs like education. Just because you are offended don’t you think you are actually restricting them and even pushing them even further back?”

He gave his usual half smile “Let them fight for it and evolve. Why is it so difficult for them not to cover their faces just in public and that too only in France? I heard terrorists use the same. That could even be a security threat. If they want to live in France, why don’t they just live and let live”

My mouth was wide open when I heard final words “Live and let live”, it was used by the other side only. Support or oppose burqa ban but either side has very deep and valid points. I smiled and finished my coffee. Well yes I should say I allowed him to conclude with those words

Next day, I did see the final draft of the bill passed by the French govt. The words “burqa”, “Islam” or even “religion” was not found. Hurray…. Well done France J.

Wanted to thank Ravi Maams for encouraging me to finish this long unfinished post. Finally!!

My younger brother - spoilt by my mother

2010-03-15T17:02:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I wrote. I really feel inspired to write this post today and it feels good.

I was 7 years old and my younger brother Nicky was 5. Nicky has a handicap. He cannot think or run fast. Doctor gave us hope. He said his handicap can be cured. All that Nicky needed was attention and some training and the handicap will disappear as he grows up. Doc liked my bro too. Like my mom he was another person who wanted to see my bro grow up strong.

My mom was all protective about my bro. She would not let him play on the ground, walk alone on the road or mingle with other kids. She feared other kids will tease him and that would kill his confidence. She took extra care for him and showered him with all love which sometimes made me feel a little jealous.

Dad was always about learning. He made us read books. The more pages we read, more the candies we get. That really made learning interesting. I would eagerly look at my mom who gives me candies every time after I am done with my reading. However Mom started giving more candies to my brother so that that encourages him. He got more candies even if he did not read even half the number of pages I read. I protested and said that was unfair. Mom replied "Understand dear, your brother needs help. He is not as strong as you are." I agreed as I thought Mom knows the best. I knew she is all about giving us care and love without any expectation. Nicky started eating more candies. He knew he got a free pass. He sometimes even faked his handicap to get more candies. That made me angry but as I started getting older I started caring less about the candies.

Dad's way of making me learn really paid off well. I learned a lot. I did pretty good in school. Everyone saw me evolve as a stronger person. Nicky however did not grow. He did not do well in school. He did not learn much. He continued to get freebies though. Even when he did something good and earned his candies, our relatives believed that he got them for free. This did hurt Nicky. He felt disrespected by our relatives. That made him so low on confidence that he did not feel like learning. It weakened him more. Doc could not figure out why his condition is not improving.

I got a cash award for writing. I bought some candies home. When I was opening the box, Nicky demanded "I anyway get most of it right?". I looked at him with my eyes wide open. He continued "Well you know I am the weaker person and I deserve more." I noticed some pride in his eyes when he said "I am weaker". I went to my mom and said "Mom you made him weak and also somehow made him feel proud about it".

Well with this piece I want to say my country is my mom and Nicky can be replaced with any underprivileged group - Women, Backward classes, minority etc...

As a woman I say the "33% Reservation for Women" bill in the parliament is shameful. Creating constituencies where only women can compete is certainly not the path for women empowerment. This will only lead to women with political background (wife/daughter/sister of male candidate) come into parliament. Does the bill care about empowerment or just numbers? Does it mean women should be kept weak and slowly feel proud about it, just the way Nicky felt? Does it just mean vote bank politics? Well they say the bill is going to expire in 15 years. Well when was the reservation for backward classes supposed to expire?

Allow Nicky to grow. Allow him to fall and learn from the fall. Protect him from being exploited. But please don't give him freebies like reservation and spoil him. Mom listen to me now.

A theist, an atheist and an agnostic

2007-05-15T15:14:00.000-07:00

Living in an on-campus residential apartment is a rich experience. Varieties of people, international community makes life simply wonderful. People with different beliefs always gather to party, drink, dine or watch movies in the common lounge. I was involved into this interesting conversation (well at least I find so) between people of different beliefs.

Atheist: A very easy way to prove God doesn’t exist. God is all powerful and good. If that is so there must be no evil. Since u see evil in the world it either means God is not all powerful or not fully good. If God is not all powerful why do we worship him? If he is not fully good what is the point in worshiping him. It is very simple logic. This proves that there is no God.

Theist: Don’t always depend on science and logic for complicated issues like God.

Atheist: Come on, we are familiar with science and logic only. Talk in these grounds.

Theist: You need faith to understand about God. You can’t rationalize everything

Atheist: Faith doesn’t mean anything. Educated people are expected to question and ask for proofs and not accept things as they are.

Agnostic: I beg to differ. (Looking at atheist) You cannot say that u rely purely on logic. You make certain assumptions too. You rely on the accuracy of the instruments u use. I can say lot more. Science and logic cannot explain every phenomenon happening. Take NDE (near death experience) for instance.

Atheist: Well then how can u answer the proofs I said first? I mean how could you say God is all powerful?

Agnostic: If I say “Love conquers all.” Will u accept it? Same way, you can’t argue that there are people living without love.

Atheist: You are using the word play. How can you believe God exists just like that?

Agnostic: Can you disprove that he doesn’t exist? We all don’t know. Better to admit what we don’t know as we don’t know.

Theist: Well talking about science, we say that there was a big bang and all planets and stars came and then coacervates came and then life evolved. Who do you think made the environment for all these?

Agnostic: they need not be planned. It could have been a coincidence or a result of randomness.

Atheist: Come on don’t now talk about religion. Don’t say that God created Adam and Eve and we all came to existence.

Theist: What makes u disagree with that?

Agnostic: Ok. I give it to you. Now let me assume that God created Adam and Eve. Why did he do that? What does he expect us to do or what does he want from us?

Theist: He doesn’t expect anything. He is the giver.

Agnostic and Atheist: Ohh then where is the need to worship him?

Theist: Thank him for the gifts he had given to you. If you live in the guidelines he had given to you, then you will be enlightened.

Atheist: Why should God expect this “thank you” from us? If he is really fair he should enlighten everyone no matter they accept him or not.

Theist: I think this argument leads nowhere. Just like you love your parents with no reason I say I believe and love God. I cannot prove or give any explanations but that doesn’t mean that I am wrong. Religion makes a man to lead a good life and makes him help others and love his fellow brothers.

Atheist: Well I don’t see any point in believing in supernatural unless I see any miracle happening. Regarding religions, they are just a set of rules that you are supposed to follow and not question why. I agree that religions came into practice to make man lead a good life and help his fellow brothers. But now at this present world when people are killing each other what is the use in having religions? Better abolish them all and let peace rule the world.

Agnostic: Well, God - whether he exists or not I really don’t care. If at all he exists I think the better way is to pursue The Divine would be not through religions but through your own personal way. And regarding religion I think people should consider religion as something personal and not kill each other in the name of religion. Of course no religion preaches anything bad to humanity but people using religion in a wrong way made me hate religions. I personally place humanity above divinity. I don’t need a religion to be good. My love for humanity will prevent me from hurting any of my fellow brothers. Man could be a mistake of God or God could be a mistake of man’s (Nietzsche). I somehow like the latter.

The theist smiled at these words followed by the atheist. Three of them agreed to disagree on their ideas. There ended the conversation.

Women rights

2006-04-16T11:40:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: You may not agree with this post. Thittanumna dhayiriyama commentsla thittavum.

I want to make this post too in the form of a conversation. One person wanted to make a movie and he was asking questions to people randomly. Somehow he wanted to talk about women’s rights to me.

Q: What do you think about women’s rights?
A: Yes. We have rights.

Q: No, I didn’t mean that - the struggle for rights.
A: I don’t believe in that.

Q: Strange being a female how could u say that?
A: It is a struggle against whom? Govt? Laws?

Q: Well there is no law that actually discriminates, so it is a struggle against some practices. Let me call it a struggle against men.
A: Who are they to give us rights? I don’t consider that they have any rights to give us rights.

Q: So you mean to say women must not ask for rights?
A: Yes. No one can give us rights. The struggle must be taking back the rights and not asking for rights.

Q: So u say that people who are fighting now are fools?
A: I didn’t say that. I don’t believe in their way.

Q: So what is that troubling u in that?
A: Well when I see some actresses who talk about women’s rights, I feel bad. They are the ones who make women look like just glamour specimens and they talk about rights.

Q: Then who can talk?
A: Women who have done something and could practice what they preach. I could think of Kalpana Chawla and Mother Teresa.

Q: But they are dead.
A: There are many like that still alive.

Q: So you say actresses and common women can’t talk about rights?
A: Well the whole purpose of talking about women’s rights is to reach the masses and create awareness. What is the point in wearing funky and glamorous costumes and talking about rights in clubs and television shows? Women who really want to create awareness can dress up properly go to all remote villages and talk in tamil or the regional language. They can talk about the education needs and what a women can and must do. It must be for the sake of service and creating awareness and not for popularity.

Q: What do u think about women's day?
A: Initially I used to think like this. We are almost half the population in this world. It is not fair having a day for women. When did these start? 1990s maybe. Did we jump from Venus on that day? What is the point? Now I understood that it is actually Labour Women rights day. Some women who had been working in a factory were asking for equal wages. They were killed on that particular day. So it is more a day for mourning fo those dead women.

Q: So what are the problems and what solutions do u propose?
A: I can list n number of problems dowry to female infanticide. But the bigger problem is to identify the root cause of the problem. If females do not make themselves cheap, I bet things would be better. It is all in the hands of educated women to be a role model and create awareness about these things. Instead of making noise they can do something seriously. Actions speak louder than words. This is all what I think about this issue.

Forwarded mails

2006-03-21T14:33:00.000-08:00

I wanted to thank all my friends and family who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2003,2004 & 2005.

Because of your kindness:

* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.

* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.

* I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.

I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.

* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.

* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.

* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. (Funny that girl, she's been 7 since 1993...)

* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program would arrive soon.

* My free Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the free passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland.

* Still open to help some from Bulgaria who wants to use my account to transfer his uncle property of some hundred millions $.

* Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding t hose Ganesh Vandana,Tirupathi Balaji pics , Hanumaun chalisa etc.. now most of those 'Wishes' are already married (to someone else)

Political views

2006-03-17T08:04:00.000-08:00

I was asking my friend back home what was happening in Tamil Nadu. He talked about the rains and then began “u know Vijayakanth is into politics”. I made fun asking “Is he planning to dance in the parliament wearing all cranky costumes?” He replied “Arey people here believe that he would do something really great if he becomes our chief minister. People are dumb here. Tamil Nadu will never prosper with people having this kind of attitude.” I resented saying, “Don’t just say people are dumb. People are not educated. So they just go by fantasies. Developed countries have educated people and so they vote wisely.” He replied back saying “So u mean to say education makes the difference right? I don’t believe in majority basis. Majority of the people are dumb. Voting rights must be given to people with at least common sense.” I couldn’t say anything but I simply said, “Well, that may not be fair. But your suggestion sounds good. We would have never had film stars into politics like MGR or Jayalalitha. Let us just hope people get educated soon.”

Next day I had a conversation with an American, a sensitive topic to speak with Americans – about the Iraq war. I expressed my opinion that the war is unnecessary. He smiled and asked, “What do u think is a bigger lie Vibha? I didn’t have affair with that woman or Sadam has weapons of mass destruction, which costed the lives of millions of people?” I asked back “u mean to say that ur president is not efficient enough? Majority of Americans seem to like him though.” This American replied back “Majority are the dumb ones.” I pondered, “ People here are pretty much well educated and quiet aware of things going on inside the country.” He gave a big laugh and showed some newspaper clippings that contained some statements made by George W. Bush.
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
"The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country."
"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system."
That American asked me “Now what do u think?” I replied “ Maybe u r right.” I was not actually thinking of the American president. I was more worried about Vijayakanth and my beloved state Tamil Nadu.

As u grow old....

2006-02-27T21:28:00.000-08:00

As u grow old u learn some things. Now I feel that I am growing. Yes I have learnt some things. I am starting to understand me.

I have come to a conclusion that I am foolish and stupid. I can be cheated easily. I just believe people.
I have not been cheated till now, not because there aren’t any con men around me, but I am blessed that somehow I am not trapped. (Dear agnostics, I have survived because God is compassionate to me. Err well I am agnostic too, (maybe my luck) :P)

I am a really childish. I just come to quick conclusions. This character is dangerous but however there is one another childish element in me – I am not much interested in serious things as small things interest me. This character has helped me a lot.

I understand that this looks like a confession or something. I wanted to tell this out.

“Beautiful Bodies and beautiful personalities rarely coincide – Erick”

I now feel that this quote is true. Believe me!!

How Philosophy works,,

2006-02-04T18:40:00.000-08:00

When I think of philosophy I think of Socrates. Today I had an argument with my friend near my door. I said the disciples of Socrates managed to bribe the authorities to free him from death but however he chooses to die. She said none of the disciples could ever reach do that.
Then I began searching in the net about him and his disciples. I found this very interesting piece.
One day Socrates came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?"
Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."
"Triple filter?"
"That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my student let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"
"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and..."
"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?"
"No, on the contrary..."
"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, even though you're not certain it's true?" The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.
Socrates continued. "You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"
"No, not really..."
"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even useful why tell it to me at all?" The man was defeated and ashamed. This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem. So whenever someone wants to spread gossip think of this.

It also explains why he never found out that Plato (his student) was having an affair with his wife.

2006 year’s changes in me

2006-01-30T19:35:00.000-08:00

The New Year started with a different kind of a party – 12 families with kids in my cousin’s home. I was assigned a job of taking care of a 1 year old kid. (Toughest job ever assigned to me!) I was making all kinds of funny faces just to make her not cry.

Welcome to the society of potential alcoholics Vibha…

So now you must have come to a conclusion that I would have never made any good New Year resolutions…true I didn’t. Nevertheless I could feel some changes in me.
1) I am spending more time at my workplace. I seem to work harder and enjoy that.
2) I seem to like staying all alone reading a book or just simply staying alone. This habit made me write more poetry.
3) Started playing more online chess with more people.
4) I am learning the basics of cooking now and seemed to improve in that. I have started cooking more often.
5) Talked more to my friends in India who are on the verge of getting married. (Sob) Spent nearly $50 for reliance calling card.
6) Watched all interesting Tamil movies. Kasthoorimaan, Kanda Naal Muthal, Sandai Kozhi and Ullam Ketkume (once again).
7) Downloading large volumes of songs. Thanks to cooltoad.
8) Best thing is that I am not keeping homework till the last minute.

I seem to like some of these changes but the sad part is that my social life is cut down drastically. Except for in telephone I have become less talkative. Is this good? Let me wait and watch.

Back from vacation!

2006-01-24T20:35:00.000-08:00

Winter break was long. But it is all over now. Back to work, classes, homework and what not? Oh let me not talk about that now.

I had been to San Francisco. It is a beautiful place. I was happy to see a place warm without snow. The idea of traveling from east to west was more fun too. I had home made delicious Indian food at my uncle’s place…. something which I had longed for months.

I first saw Winchester’s mystery house. A rich woman Mrs. Winchester built the house in 15000 acres of land. The house was funny in some ways – doors that lead nowhere, windows that when opened you could see just the wall, stairs twisted in a strange way etc. It seems she believed that ghosts were responsible for her husband’s death and she decided to build the house in a way that pleased the spirits. There were always 13 lamps in bigger halls. (hmm may be I would have spend that big sum in a different way)
Golden Gate bridge is the greatest attraction. I was wondering why is it called the golden bridge when I could see no gold and only iron structures. I didn’t get a proper answer initially. Then after some research I found that California is called the golden state (as they get sunlight all the year) and this bridge being the greatest attraction hence called golden gate bridge.

Golden Gate bridge

Lastly the beaches, wow I loved them. Driving was fun. Sunset was really lovely and appeared romantic.

After this good break I just hate this routine life again. What to do I do not have an option!!

Could you answer?

2005-12-20T18:31:00.000-08:00

At different points of time in my life, I had certain questions for which I never got proper answers till now. Here are they.

Why most of consider fair complexion better than dark complexion?

To whichever college I go, why students always complain about the canteen food?

What is the reason to love?

What is the purpose of life? (If I am born to help others, then what are others for?)

What makes a person happy?

Why do men lie and women cry? (There is a book but I couldn’t get a simple straightforward answer.)

Why in most tamil movies the heroine happens to be the villain’s daughter?

Why are Indians proud to to have American flag on their cap or T-shirt when most Americans don’t even know how an Indian flag looks like?

Why is God so unfair to women? (God made woman physically weaker, burdened her with lots of pain.)

Man came from apes. Who will come from man? (er..)

If you could answer these questions, I will be really happy and thankful to you. Ohh I have one more question.

Why do I ask so many questions? :p

AstroQuest

2005-12-15T22:07:00.000-08:00

This is a serious post to help you become a successful chiromancer. Astrology is a blooming field and I bet it is the easiest way to become rich.

Q: How do I start with?
A: Some person will come to you asking, “Can u read these lines in my palm and say something?” Just say yes.

Q: I’ll be in trouble. What do I say?
A: It’s easy. First say you have a long life span of 70 years. (Or any number between 60 and 75. Statistics say that life span of Indians fall in that range.)

Q: Then how do I proceed?
A: U need not worry. I bet he will start asking questions and all you got to do is to answer them.

Q: What questions can I expect?
A: He may ask you “How will my married life be?” You can tell him “You will get a very beautiful wife. Initially you will have trouble in getting along but after the kids arrive you will be fine. You will be happy though.” Remember to add few negatives but the overall must be positive.

Q: Why should my overall statement be positive?
A: You are not doing any research on astrology. Tell people what they want and become popular. Learn to survive!!

Q: If he asks a troublesome question like “Will I go abroad?”
A: Good question. You have to refer to the weather forecasts to answer this question. Your answer could be “Yah this line (pointing to any crooked line in his hand) says you have fair chances. But this year is not very lucky to you. Drastic changes may also take place due to the influence of your previous karmas…”

Q: Should I talk something about his character?
A: “U r a sensitive person. Not many people can understand u. U r very good at heart. But u actually don’t know how to express your feelings.” These lines will always work whoever be the person. U may also add few lines on what u think about that person.

Q: What if the person says “No u r wrong.”
A: If the person happens to be a girl u can very well say “with a beautiful girl in front of me, my calculations may go wrong.” And of course start hitting on her. If it is a guy, just give him a mysterious smile and say “u know I am right but….that’s okay.” He will get confused and start believing the truth from your mouth.

Q: Okay I got it. Do I repeat the same for questions like “Will she accept my proposal?”
A: Ohh there comes your chance. If you have a crush on that girl he is talking about, just say, “That is difficult. I feel there is a better girl waiting for you. You will meet her within 2 years.” Make your words in such a way that you sound as an experienced chiromancer. He must believe every word from your mouth and you succeed.

Q: Can I talk about anything else apart from the lines in his palm?
A: Well you can ask “Do u have any itching feeling in your right palm?” If he says yes then say, “Ohh Maha Lakshmi is pleased. You will gain more money.” If he says “No but I have that feeling in my left palm”, say, “This is not a good sign (serious face). Money will flow out of you.” If he gets too much worried then you may add “All u have to do is to visit the temple X” (X could be the name of any temple that comes to your mouth at that moment.)

Q: What if he says both of his palms are itching?
A: Tell him it is a serious skin problem. Suggest a good dermatologist.

Q: Well sounds easy and any difficult situation?
A: Well there are some guys who grumble a lot. They may ask, “Why do I only face these many problems?” There comes your innovation. That’s a good chance to frame great stories. Here is an example. “U were a washer man in your previous birth. U beat your donkey so much that it cursed u. That curse haunts u in this birth.”

Q: I kind of get it. What if he asks a specific question like “will I get this job?”
A: Haha. Say, "even if u don’t get that job, there is a better profession waiting for u!!"

Q: Ohh what is that?
A: Astrology of course. Now u have enough knowledge to train him in astrology.

Q: How did u get this idea?
A: Once my friend and me were in Besant Nagar beech. There came a lady (dressed as a gypsy and calling herself an astrologer). She said my friend would get a husband who has name of Lord Muruga. She is engaged now and it so happened that her fiancée’s name happens to be the name of Lord Muruga. With great coincidences happening like this anyone can try his/her luck in astrology.

Q: Did she say anything interesting to u?
A: Aah very interesting. She said my husband would have a mole in his chest area. (She knew that I am not indecent enough to ask every guy to remove his shirt). She also said he will be a pure and good person. (I also cannot ask “are u pure?” to any guy.) With these great details she was able to grab a 100Rs note from me. (Maybe I took loan from her in my previous birth and didn’t repay!!)

Hope this helps. If u have more questions please do not hesitate to contact me.

The Wild Ones

2005-12-07T21:31:00.000-08:00

“Every morning in Africa a deer wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed.
Every morning a lion wakes up. It knows that it must run faster than the slowest deer or it will starve to death.
It does not matter if you are a lion or a deer. When the sun comes up you’d better be running.”

This is a quote from a poster in my room. Every person who had come to my room admired it. It has a beautiful picture of two lions and a deer.

I had gone to every good place like Archies, Connections and even Spencers for getting a poster with good quotes and wild animals. I managed to get this only in T. Nagar platform shop. (posters are much better there!)

I always had passion for wild animals. National Geographic is one of my favorite channels. This I had developed from my childhood. Many moral stories were associated with animals. There is always a comparison of a man’s personality with animals. I used to wonder why. Some examples are “pride of a lion”, “fast as a deer”, “intelligent as a hare”, “cunning as a fox” etc.

Are foxes cunning? They eat the remains. They need not be cunning to get that food. I still don’t understand why they are considered cunning. I also have no idea if hares are intelligent creatures. Well deer are fast. No doubt about it. Coming to lions so called “The King of the Forest”, I think they don’t deserve to be called as the kings. I find them lazy and boring. Noble? Ohh they fight like crazy. I feel they are not intelligent enough to be called kings.

My favorite animals are the elephants and tigers. Elephant is a vegetarian animal but stronger than many wild animals. I admire the soft but strong nature of elephants. Tigers, I feel are much more intelligent than lions. Tiger is called “The Queen of the forest” (Shouldn’t it be tigress? No I didn’t do research on that.) Their hunting habits are much more efficient than lions. And also their power of sensation. I wonder then why aren’t tigers the king? Well maybe because everyone accepts that females are the intelligent species!! (Sorry guys.)

If you find this post really boring I am sorry about that. I couldn’t spend much time on this but still I wanted to write. Let me include a very rare picture of 20 tigers together to do some amount of justice to this post.

It is a rare phenomenon to see 20 tigers together. Check it out!

Sorry. I didn't take this pic.

20 facts about me

2005-12-05T12:40:00.000-08:00

Generally I don’t like bragging but being tagged I am forced to do so (err…).Here are the 20 facts about me.

1. I love arguing. I do this only with a few people. I generally nod my head to boring lectures.

2. I speak really fast. My speed sometimes goes up to 22 lines per minute. My Prof asked me to slow down during a presentation and I had a tough time. (so did the other students)

3. I believe in this. “ I don’t want a certain number of friends. I want a number of friends I can be certain of.” Yes I am very much attached to a small number of friends.

4. I am a happy person because I take many things easy. It is really difficult to hurt me.

5. Americans find me attractive. (Truth!!) I was flying when they were so open to say this but….Indians don’t. What is the use? My dream man happens to be a tall, dark and handsome Tamilian with sharp nose and big eyes. I call him Samanth.(after the hero of a tamil novel)

6. I am a vegetarian. I am on the top of the food chain among humans. I can stand people eating non veg. I don’t mind even if they want to eat it in my plate. But however I just can’t stand the smell of cooking fish or mutton.

7. I love to read and write poetry in Tamil. I have helped my friends by giving them really romantic poetry to impress someone. (Anyone wants help? U can contact me!)

8. Every new thing excites me. So easy to make me excited and happy.

9. I don’t generally care for what others think. I try to be honest in telling what I think. . Few people like this kind of openess.

10. Majority of my friends happen to be guys. I bet every guy who is my friend treats me as a guy too. Of course there is lot of boyish character in me and I am proud of that (deepest secret). I also feel 90% of the girls are boring (in the place where I grew up).

11. I hate getting up early in the morning. When I get up I look at the alarm clock with immense hatred and anger. Of course the clock is not mine. I even feel like throwing it out.

12. I have never been to kitchen (for cooking) before I came here. For 21 years my mom used to make beverage for me every morning as soon as I get up and make me drink it. I don’t even wash the cup. But now look at my plight. I cook every weekend and store the food for rest of the week. I learnt cooking by experimenting (on people too!!). Now I realize how sweet home is.

13. Music is my passion. I love singing and listening to music. All kinds a music are good- karnatic, hindustani, light etc. In light music harish raghavendra is my favorite.

14. I love people who care for me. Though they are rude to me I always understand that they want a better me.

15. I have traveled almost every state in India except Gujarat. Not only me my mom and my dad also love traveling.

16. Being the only lovely (??) daughter to my parents I am very much attached to them. I spend a lot of time talking to them esp. during the weekends.

17. I like philosophy - Western as well as oriental. I like Ayn Rand and also Nietzsche.

18. During my undergrad I have never missed any dumb Vijayakanth movie. My friends and me occupy the majority of the empty seats in the theater and comment like anything. More dumb the movie is more the comments and hence more the fun. I have even travelled in the footboard of a crowded bus to get the ticket for a dumb Vijayakanth movie. (Because I know the film will not be in that theater more than 3 days of its release.)

19. I love playing cards. Very few people can beat me in rammi. None can beat me in mangaatha. (Got training from a professional rowdy in one of the platforms of Chennai.)

20. My first crush is my professor in undergrad. (err he looks good...)

Now it is my turn to tag. I don't want to tag but I think it would be fun in knowing about the Monk.

Oh Dustbin I am crazy for u

2005-12-02T19:14:00.000-08:00

“Dear Dustbin, I had been dreaming about u for the past 3 weeks. U distract me a lot. I had been waiting for so long because I didn’t know how to express my deepest feelings for u. I am madly in love with u. Dustbin please accept my proposal. I will die if u reject. I am so crazy for u.”

This was my first proposal for love in my life. It happened during my first year of undergrad. Yes in a Govt. college ragging goes out of control. Ragging – a fun game for the seniors but a nightmare for freshmen. In college campus ragging is between the opposite sex and in hostel it is between the same sex, so that every senior gets a chance to rag. (What an idea)

“Among we three who looks really handsome? Tell us.” One among a gang of three guys sitting on the wall asked me. (All the three of u look equally horrible and am I here to pick the best of rotten? What a plight?) Then I decided to act really smart, pointing at the guy who asked me this question I said “ It is u anna (brother) no doubt about it.” The other two guys did have lots of fun afterwards.

I was also asked to do crazy things such as measuring the length of a 3m long grill with a pen cap. Then sing the song “O Maria” like this “A Maria then B Maria" and so on. Among girls I was the top most target because they felt I hold my head high while walking. (Dumb reason? They just say that!!)

The guys were in a bad shape too. I saw them coming to college in a dothi, white shirt and yellow bag (manja pai) for carrying books. I was reminded of Vaanavaraayan (Rajinikanth in ejamaan) on seeing them. They were also made to go on a frog race all around the campus. (poor guys)

Ragging really made us feel embarrassed. But now when I think back I feel, ohh I could never do such crazy things again in my life. I just laugh at those times. The most ragged girl (me) got the greatest number of friends ultimately. Wow that's the advantage.

Things were even more exciting when we became the seniors. We took care that our juniors enjoyed the joke and did not cry. I ragged a girl like this.

Me: What is ur name
Girl: Shankari
Me: u from?
Girl: Sivakasi
Me: Does ur family own a cracker shop?
Girl: yah we do. We specialize on rockets.
Me: Ohh just like Abdul Kalam? Now start the count down to launch a rocket to moon.

It ultimately became a kind of inheritance. I believe in Govt. colleges it only increases year after year. As long as things don’t go really serious ragging is fun. Most of my seniors who are my friends are the ones who had badly ragged me. Best way to face it is “TAKE IT EASY ….KOOL.” Soon u will enjoy!!!

That mysterious guy in my life

2005-11-30T17:12:00.000-08:00

The very mention of his name gave me strange chemical reactions in my body. My face would turn red. I would then feel a gush of blood in my nerves. I had never seen him but I knew a lot about him. I should say I had an inner urge to meet him. Strange! I was curious about a person whom I had never met. Yes he disturbed me in my dreams too. His name did have a lot of control over me and people used that weakness too.

I was 6 years old then. His name was (or is) Poochandi. I was told he looked shabby, unshaved and dirty. He always carried a big bag in which he imprisons kids and take them away. He always targets kids who don’t eat properly or do not obey parents.

I had a lot of questions about him for which I never got answers. Where does he take the kids? Where does he come from? What does he do with the kids? Why is he always a shabby guy? How does he know which kids disobey their parents?

I found out later that this Poochandi was a menace to every kid. None of my friends had answers to these questions. At one point of time I was really irritated about him that I decided to face him. I wanted to put an end to all problems caused by him to our kids community.

It was a rainy day. I stood on the top of the terrace getting drenched in the rain. Yah I did like rain. First my mom came out.

Mom: (shouting) come in don’t get wet. Poochandi will take u away if u stand there.
Me: No. I won’t.
Mom: Look Vibha u r a good girl. Come in.
Me: I am not a good girl today.
Dad: (coming out) I will get u dairy milk chocolate if u come in.
Me: I don’t want it.
Dad: (Now irritated) U r much more troublesome than a guy. Why don’t u obey? I never wanted this kind of a girl.
Me: (with a sorrowful look) Daddy… but
Dad: (Now melting at my look) See why do want to stay in rain. U will get fever and doctor will give u injection.
Me: That’s okay for once.
Dad: (puzzled) For once? Why?
Me: Today I am going to kill that Poochandi
Mom and Dad: (Laughing) How? U r so small but he is powerful and big.
Me: (with a heroic smile) But today it is my day. All kids will be relieved.
(Then I proudly lifted a packet full of hydrogen bombs, a knife and scissors)
Dad: (Admiring my weapons) Ohh u r a brave girl. But he wont come today.
Me: Why is Sunday a holiday for him?
Mom and Dad (now laughing): He will never come.
Me: ???

My dad came and carried me in and I didn’t resist. Then he told me that the whole issue of Poochandi is just imagination. My dreams of heroic victory over the villain got scattered. I had pictured myself as Rajinikanth or Alexander the great defeating this Poochandi. Well I didn’t give up the thought that I had a hero in me. I am still searching for a villain.

My first mega serial

2005-11-18T14:55:00.001-08:00

I always believed that I am good in writing poetry and stories. (errr..people say). Now I am thinking of doing something really innovative - a mega serial in Tamil. I even managed to get 9:00 to 9:30pm slot in SUN TV as they were really impressed when I narrated my first episode.
Title of my serial is “Akka.” Of course I play according to the rules of the game. (Names of Tamil serials should mean relations like chithi, appa, and onnu vitta periappa…)
Now as my title is fixed I proceeded with my next step- the title song. I am going to have Unnikrishnan and Nithyashree sing it.
First comes a voice of a 6-year-old girl calling “akka” and then the song begins.

Paasam miguntha akka
Unnal en life pucca
Veiyil koluthum Africa
Nee irunthal adhu berikka

Thousand apologies to T. Rajendran as I have copied his style. Yah I also have 22 women with bright colored saris dancing for it near kapaleeshwar temple. Oh it is 9:05pm already, now my story begins.
A well-decorated home…camera moves to the TV. Cricket match goes on but no one is watching. Camera moves to a chair. Preethi is staring at the wall and suddenly starts crying. Close up of Preethi’s face now. Now the camera moves into the kitchen. Jyothi slowly ignites the stove. Cuts aavin milk packet. Close up at the aavin milk packet (one of our sponsor). Now she keeps the vessel over the stove and pours the milk slowly. As she hears a strange noise (only now) she looks out and sees Preethi crying. Camera moves to Jyothi’s face, she feels like crying too. She comes close to Preethi and lifts her hand to touch her.

Advertisement (Godrej refrigerator, Tiger biscuits, Ujala, Surf Excel, Hamam and another serial at 8:30pm)

Akka.................
Now Jyothi who is about to touch Preethi thinks otherwise and takes her hand away. Camera now focusing the mehendi in Jyothi’s hand. Sentiment melts Jyothi’s heart now, that she couldn’t resist and touches Preethi. Now Preethi looks up and says “akka” and with more tears. Camera now focuses on Preethi’s new type chudidhaar neck. Jyothi asks “ en kitta solla maatiyaa…enna problem?” Now Preethi says “akka neeya ippadi kekara? Chinna vayasula ramarajan padathukku kootindu poo nnu kettappo rajinikanth padathukku kotindu poniyee…oru pencil venumnnu ketappo kadai lenthu oru dozen pencil thirudi koduthiyee….akka… naa un kitta solla maateena? Namma paasam eppadi vidum.” Jyothi gets lost into the past memories.

Advertisement (Pepsi, Shakthi masala, cycle agarbathi, Bindhu appalam and film majaa)

Akka............

Besant nagar Beach. Nikhil is sitting on the sand and looks at his watch. Thinks loudly “enna innum varala?” Few feet away….there stands Naresh. Tensed Naresh bits his nail and thinks loudly, “innikki eppadiyaavadhu pesidanum.” Now comes Nirosha jogging (No “in a chudhidhaar with her handbag”, I follow the rules of the game.) Nikhil comes close to her and says “excuse me…unga kitta konjam pesanum.” Nirosha says “Sollunga (blushes).” Nikhil continues in a romantic tone “ungala engeyo paatha maathiri irrukku”. Nirosha replies “ennakkum appadi thaan thonudhu(blush again).” Naresh, listening to the conversation grabs Nikhil’s shirt and they start fighting. Nirosha and a small crowd start watching… (at the fight not at the shooting)

Advertisement (Sankar cement, LIC, surf excel, Sunrise coffee and Rexona deodrant)

Akka...................
A small pen cap falls from Naresh’s shirt. Nikhil looks at it and takes out a pen without refill and pencap. Naresh’s looks at it and says “Anna neeya….Nikhilaa nee?” Now Nikhil says “Aaa Naresh neeya?” They now hug (true it happens in tamil serials). Naresh says “namma thangachi mattum irrunthiruntha…refill oda ava enga irrukkaalo?”
Nirosha jumps in with a refill and says “anna… anna,” looking at both. All the three hug. They say “nammala piricha chitthappava pazhi vaanguvoom” All the three take oath to avenge him.

To be continued in the next episode ….

What plan will Nirosha, Naresh and Nikhil make to avenge their chithappa?
What is the reason behind Preethi’s tears?
Will Jyothi help her out?
What is the secret behind Jyothi’s affection?

See that tomorrow in AKKA.
Monday to Friday 9:00 to 9:30pm AKKA only in SUN TV.
Don’t miss it!!

Disclaimer: Oh Great serial makers. This is my first attempt. Please overlook errors if any.

P.S: Planning to make just 380 episodes. I want your feedback.

Tamil Movie Kills Newton……..

2005-11-10T10:34:00.000-08:00

News:

“Newton - The Father of Physics has committed suicide!! Recent information unveils the mystery behind his death”

Once Newton came to India and he watched a few Tamil movies and had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logics and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.

In the movie of Vijayakanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went insane.

Here are a few scenes:

1) Vijayakanth has a "Brain Tumor" which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Vijayakanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured. Long Live Vijayakanth! (Puratchi Thalaivaa Vazhga)

2) In one of the movies, Vijayakanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Vijayakanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet. Guess, what he does....... He holds a knife in his hand and throws at the middle gangster & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces and kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one. (Could James Bond compete with our Captain??)

3) Vijayakanth is chased by a gangster. Vijayakanth has a revolver but he has no bullets in it. Guess what he does. No!!!,not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Vijayakanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang... And the gangster dies.... (Of course our 19 year old heroine is impressed!!)

This was too much for our Newton to take and he was completely shaken and he decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time! and thought that at least one movie will follow his theory of motion. The whole movie goes fine andNewton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed.

Oops not so fast.

The Climax finally arrives. Vijayakanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Vijayakanth can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Vijayakanth has to desperately kill the villain because its the climax. (Our Newton is smiling since it is virtually impossible). Vijayakanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pocket (Probably a backup???). He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached the height of the wall, he shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air, with his second gun. Now the first gun fires off and the villain is dead. (Narasimhanna summavaa??...yes the title should come in the climax)

Newton commits Suicide.

May his soul rest in peace. (Hope they don’t show Vijayakanth movies in heaven. :p)
(This was an email sent to me to which I had added bit more of my own masala)

Marriage excitement

2005-11-07T19:17:00.000-08:00

The word marriage brings a lot of excitement. It is even more exciting when a close friend of yours sends u a mail saying, “A guy and his parents came to see me, and they seemed to like me. My parents are proceeding for further talks.” I got charged fully on reading the mail. (Even though it was a Monday when my energy levels are all time low)
Image of Saradamani (Sam) comes to mind whenever I think of the word friend. She is one person who knows almost all about me but still loves me. She is the most precious gift God had given me. Yah it was her mail that brought all excitement in me.
My immediate reaction was this. I just wanted to speak with her and so I dialed her number. Then realizing it is 8:00 pm here and would be too early in India, I gave up the idea. Well I should have thought of this before dialing but my mind rarely works when I am excited.
She mentioned in her mail that his name was Senthil Kumar and his date of birth was 9th March 1979. I began turning the pages of “Linda Goodman’s sun signs” and read everything about a Pisces man. Then I went into yahoo horoscopes and read about romantic compatibility between Libra and Pisces. (Sam is a Libran.) Well they seemed to be compatible enough.
This did not stop with that. I went to Chinese astrology. Found that the guy was a “goat.” There I searched for compatibility between “Pig” and “Goat.” Satisfied, I then went to numerology (now 4 and 9). No I didn’t leave Indian astrology either (mesha raasi and mithuna raasi).
Well I wonder if I would have done all these if, it was for me. I might have even said, “Horoscopes ohh I don’t believe them.” Now I began thinking, how would the name sound like…”Sarada Senthil Kumar?? Or Saradamani Senthil Kumar?? or just Sarada Senthil”. I finally concluded Sarada Senthil sounded better.
Now I replied to her mail, first filling the pages with my research (about the horoscopes). Then I continued with my questions…. “How are his parents? Did u talk to him?, When will ur engagement possibly be?, How tall is he?, how was his physique? Why don’t u send his photograph? Are u planning to work after marriage? Was he shy too?” And finally added a note of my usual teasing, “So u blushed… I wished I had seen ur face.. ohh can’t imagine u blushing.”
After sending the mail, I just relaxed dreaming about her marriage. I missed her so much and now I miss her even more. Many people come and go in our lives but few leave footprints in our heart that stay forever.

I miss u a lot SAM. I love u. I wish u a very happy future.

Combating Cancer

2005-11-02T17:35:00.000-08:00

That evening was cold as expected on the last week of October. Coming from the hottest place in India, the cold of New Hampshire is just too much for me. As I came home from work, I thought I must brush my teeth after eating chocolates. (else I would have my mom coming in my dreams reminding me to do that). While brushing I saw my image in the mirror. Well it looked like me….pretty much alright with two eyes one nose and one mouth (ears hidden behind my hair). Hey wait something different …..some kind of red coloured liquid sticking out of my nose….oh its BLOOD!!. Thinking that I must have punched my nose in my dreams I went back to my room. (yah after washing my mouth). Ohhh now I start coughing. Mmm nothing new…I was coughing for the past few nights. Cursing the cold for the (n+1)th time I reached my kerchief and started coughing even more. (comfortably now.). That beautiful red kerchief is really useful. Just a moment….is it red?? Wasn’t it yellow? My God BLOOD is coming out of my mouth now.

I thought I was healthy…… I even donated blood last year. This year I coudnt do it as some count turned to be low. My left brain (LB) started revising the chapters of cancer biology I had learnt in my undergrad. Ohh no!! it could be leukaemia (blood cancer). My right brain (RB) said “Hey u got to confirm it..consult a doc”. Now LB says “Is that not obvious? Blood count initially getting low and then blood coming from nose and mouth, loss of appetite etc..etc…” There my RB says “enough of it….anyway tumor is curable” LB answers “Leukaemia…tis difficult..radiotherapy etc.” RB (now irritated) “okay u have cancer so what?? May be u will die within a few months.. ...r u really worth living?”

That’s really a tough question to answer. LB comes to my rescue saying “u r not worth dying either.” Well this sounds good. Cancer mm this word changed my attitude to life. I felt like Sharukh Khan of Kal Ho Na Ho. But I don’t have a lover. First time in my life I realized the importance of having a lover. A lover should be really interesting at least at the death bed. (wow what a sentiment). I have not yet achieved anything in life to die so soon. Ohh what did I want to achieve?. Perhaps a job with a handsome salary, a camera and a car to wander.
What a great ambition in life!!!

Telephone rings… my classmate Shen asks “Vibha did u finish biochemical homework -5th problem.” I answered “Ohh I jus came from work..I’ll call u once I do it..bye”. And now, “does doin this homework make a difference…anyway few more months??” My RB says “atleast do ur homework properly during the last part of ur life.” Yah I will try to be sincere from now. I searched for the homework sheet from a dozen of scattered papers near the trash. As I made my wonderful discovery finding the sheet, telephone rings again.

Do I have another homework?. Well lets check. But it was my undergrad friend calling from Maryland. He asks “hey how r u doin vibha?” “well fine (ohh what a lie) and how is ur life goin” and there the reply came “u know because of the dry heat from the heater my nose started bleeding. I just got a humidifier and now its all okay….” My LB continued “yes the tissue in ur nose is very soft and so easily…”

I didn’t hear the rest of the words. I could feel fifty five - 200W bulbs glowing in me. Yah I don’t pay for electricity here. Hey someone is cutting the power supply. That’s the image of my Dad saying “vibha u chat a lot...look u r still holding the phone. U lose ur intelligence by that..” I replied “Dad ur advice works perfectly well only for people with intelligence .”

Well now u would have concluded that I got a humidifier. Ohh no that’s not what people with "great chemical engineering minds" do. I sprinkle water once in a while. I remember not to wipe out the water when I wash my vessels and leave it for the heater to dry it. Don’t spend money on heaters….. this works perfectly well. (my nose is in a good shape now.)

A Guy's mind

2005-11-01T10:20:00.000-08:00

"Could God atleast understand what actually runs through a girl's mind?." It is the most common phrase I have heard from guys. Mmm as a girl I just cant totally agree with this. Maybe guys are not capable enough. But I tried to do something different. I have started exploring every guy’s mind (ohh the ones I found interesting). It resulted in a 2 hour conversation with my friend (who is of course a guy)…that included real life examples, arguments and what not??....And here it is...

Me: Guys usually generalize things about girls like…”Why don’t girls play football?” “Why do girls like dolls even at 18.”

Friend: That’s true…isinit?

Me: How many girls did u find like that?

Friend: many like 6 or 8

Me: wow that makes about 88% of the total worlds’ female population…Each individual is different

Friend:Come on.....aren’t u generalizing now about guys now?

Me: I already said “interesting ones I met” Common patterns i observed

Friend: That’s fine..What else..

Me: Mistakes are magnified to the order of 50X or 100X when it is done by others…but it is just carelessness if it is done by them..

Friend: I don’t think so.

Me: Didn’t u say “my sister is really stupid. She forgot to take her lunch box while goin to school”

Friend: That’s pretty stupid.

Me: Its just carelessness when u forgot ur passpot in the airport right?

Friend: I FOGOT (raising voice)…..(and then casually) well anyway I am one of the interesting guys.......so never mind.

Me: When u say interesting I remember one more thing. Don’t u guys feel everything about u is interesting to everyone?

Friend: huhh? Like what?

Me: One of my friends’ made this statement “U must read my blog its really interesting” and I was wondering how could he assume that that would interest me?

Friend: And u were haughty enough to say that to him?

Me: Ohh don’t generalize again. I read his blog though.

Friend: That’s good..Well maybe we say such things to girls whom we find interesting.

Me: interesting girls according to guys definition mean either they are beautiful or they give some attention to u (which u want) right?

Friend: Checkmated. U r 100% right. Atleast that’s true to me. Hey I thought u were doin chemical engineering but u seem to know more of psychology and behavioral patterns..

Me: Ohh thanks

Friend: too late to change ur field now..so better think of fluid mechanics and heat transfer rather than psychology and pricking on other’s ego

Me: Good advice..i will take it. I didn’t intend to hurt u .....sorry.

Friend: Hey come on yaar… what u said is really true..atleast works for me. I jus wanted to say something back..thats all

And that was the end of the conversation. And now let me take a look at my heat transfer text book…oh this is so boring….