Monday, March 15, 2010

My younger brother - spoilt by my mother

It has been a while since I wrote. I really feel inspired to write this post today and it feels good.

I was 7 years old and my younger brother Nicky was 5. Nicky has a handicap. He cannot think or run fast. Doctor gave us hope. He said his handicap can be cured. All that Nicky needed was attention and some training and the handicap will disappear as he grows up. Doc liked my bro too. Like my mom he was another person who wanted to see my bro grow up strong.

My mom was all protective about my bro. She would not let him play on the ground, walk alone on the road or mingle with other kids. She feared other kids will tease him and that would kill his confidence. She took extra care for him and showered him with all love which sometimes made me feel a little jealous.

Dad was always about learning. He made us read books. The more pages we read, more the candies we get. That really made learning interesting. I would eagerly look at my mom who gives me candies every time after I am done with my reading. However Mom started giving more candies to my brother so that that encourages him. He got more candies even if he did not read even half the number of pages I read. I protested and said that was unfair. Mom replied "Understand dear, your brother needs help. He is not as strong as you are." I agreed as I thought Mom knows the best. I knew she is all about giving us care and love without any expectation. Nicky started eating more candies. He knew he got a free pass. He sometimes even faked his handicap to get more candies. That made me angry but as I started getting older I started caring less about the candies.

Dad's way of making me learn really paid off well. I learned a lot. I did pretty good in school. Everyone saw me evolve as a stronger person. Nicky however did not grow. He did not do well in school. He did not learn much. He continued to get freebies though. Even when he did something good and earned his candies, our relatives believed that he got them for free. This did hurt Nicky. He felt disrespected by our relatives. That made him so low on confidence that he did not feel like learning. It weakened him more. Doc could not figure out why his condition is not improving.

I got a cash award for writing. I bought some candies home. When I was opening the box, Nicky demanded "I anyway get most of it right?". I looked at him with my eyes wide open. He continued "Well you know I am the weaker person and I deserve more." I noticed some pride in his eyes when he said "I am weaker". I went to my mom and said "Mom you made him weak and also somehow made him feel proud about it".

Well with this piece I want to say my country is my mom and Nicky can be replaced with any underprivileged group - Women, Backward classes, minority etc...

As a woman I say the "33% Reservation for Women" bill in the parliament is shameful. Creating constituencies where only women can compete is certainly not the path for women empowerment. This will only lead to women with political background (wife/daughter/sister of male candidate) come into parliament. Does the bill care about empowerment or just numbers? Does it mean women should be kept weak and slowly feel proud about it, just the way Nicky felt? Does it just mean vote bank politics? Well they say the bill is going to expire in 15 years. Well when was the reservation for backward classes supposed to expire?

Allow Nicky to grow. Allow him to fall and learn from the fall. Protect him from being exploited. But please don't give him freebies like reservation and spoil him. Mom listen to me now.