Could you answer?

At different points of time in my life, I had certain questions for which I never got proper answers till now. Here are they.

Why most of consider fair complexion better than dark complexion?

To whichever college I go, why students always complain about the canteen food?

What is the reason to love?

What is the purpose of life? (If I am born to help others, then what are others for?)

What makes a person happy?

Why do men lie and women cry? (There is a book but I couldn’t get a simple straightforward answer.)

Why in most tamil movies the heroine happens to be the villain’s daughter?

Why are Indians proud to to have American flag on their cap or T-shirt when most Americans don’t even know how an Indian flag looks like?

Why is God so unfair to women? (God made woman physically weaker, burdened her with lots of pain.)

Man came from apes. Who will come from man? (er..)

If you could answer these questions, I will be really happy and thankful to you. Ohh I have one more question.

Why do I ask so many questions? :p

AstroQuest

This is a serious post to help you become a successful chiromancer. Astrology is a blooming field and I bet it is the easiest way to become rich.

Q: How do I start with?
A: Some person will come to you asking, “Can u read these lines in my palm and say something?” Just say yes.

Q: I’ll be in trouble. What do I say?
A: It’s easy. First say you have a long life span of 70 years. (Or any number between 60 and 75. Statistics say that life span of Indians fall in that range.)

Q: Then how do I proceed?
A: U need not worry. I bet he will start asking questions and all you got to do is to answer them.

Q: What questions can I expect?
A: He may ask you “How will my married life be?” You can tell him “You will get a very beautiful wife. Initially you will have trouble in getting along but after the kids arrive you will be fine. You will be happy though.” Remember to add few negatives but the overall must be positive.

Q: Why should my overall statement be positive?
A: You are not doing any research on astrology. Tell people what they want and become popular. Learn to survive!!

Q: If he asks a troublesome question like “Will I go abroad?”
A: Good question. You have to refer to the weather forecasts to answer this question. Your answer could be “Yah this line (pointing to any crooked line in his hand) says you have fair chances. But this year is not very lucky to you. Drastic changes may also take place due to the influence of your previous karmas…”

Q: Should I talk something about his character?
A: “U r a sensitive person. Not many people can understand u. U r very good at heart. But u actually don’t know how to express your feelings.” These lines will always work whoever be the person. U may also add few lines on what u think about that person.

Q: What if the person says “No u r wrong.”
A: If the person happens to be a girl u can very well say “with a beautiful girl in front of me, my calculations may go wrong.” And of course start hitting on her. If it is a guy, just give him a mysterious smile and say “u know I am right but….that’s okay.” He will get confused and start believing the truth from your mouth.

Q: Okay I got it. Do I repeat the same for questions like “Will she accept my proposal?”
A: Ohh there comes your chance. If you have a crush on that girl he is talking about, just say, “That is difficult. I feel there is a better girl waiting for you. You will meet her within 2 years.” Make your words in such a way that you sound as an experienced chiromancer. He must believe every word from your mouth and you succeed.

Q: Can I talk about anything else apart from the lines in his palm?
A: Well you can ask “Do u have any itching feeling in your right palm?” If he says yes then say, “Ohh Maha Lakshmi is pleased. You will gain more money.” If he says “No but I have that feeling in my left palm”, say, “This is not a good sign (serious face). Money will flow out of you.” If he gets too much worried then you may add “All u have to do is to visit the temple X” (X could be the name of any temple that comes to your mouth at that moment.)

Q: What if he says both of his palms are itching?
A: Tell him it is a serious skin problem. Suggest a good dermatologist.

Q: Well sounds easy and any difficult situation?
A: Well there are some guys who grumble a lot. They may ask, “Why do I only face these many problems?” There comes your innovation. That’s a good chance to frame great stories. Here is an example. “U were a washer man in your previous birth. U beat your donkey so much that it cursed u. That curse haunts u in this birth.”

Q: I kind of get it. What if he asks a specific question like “will I get this job?”
A: Haha. Say, "even if u don’t get that job, there is a better profession waiting for u!!"

Q: Ohh what is that?
A: Astrology of course. Now u have enough knowledge to train him in astrology.

Q: How did u get this idea?
A: Once my friend and me were in Besant Nagar beech. There came a lady (dressed as a gypsy and calling herself an astrologer). She said my friend would get a husband who has name of Lord Muruga. She is engaged now and it so happened that her fiancée’s name happens to be the name of Lord Muruga. With great coincidences happening like this anyone can try his/her luck in astrology.

Q: Did she say anything interesting to u?
A: Aah very interesting. She said my husband would have a mole in his chest area. (She knew that I am not indecent enough to ask every guy to remove his shirt). She also said he will be a pure and good person. (I also cannot ask “are u pure?” to any guy.) With these great details she was able to grab a 100Rs note from me. (Maybe I took loan from her in my previous birth and didn’t repay!!)

Hope this helps. If u have more questions please do not hesitate to contact me.

The Wild Ones

“Every morning in Africa a deer wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed.
Every morning a lion wakes up. It knows that it must run faster than the slowest deer or it will starve to death.
It does not matter if you are a lion or a deer. When the sun comes up you’d better be running.”

This is a quote from a poster in my room. Every person who had come to my room admired it. It has a beautiful picture of two lions and a deer.

I had gone to every good place like Archies, Connections and even Spencers for getting a poster with good quotes and wild animals. I managed to get this only in T. Nagar platform shop. (posters are much better there!)

I always had passion for wild animals. National Geographic is one of my favorite channels. This I had developed from my childhood. Many moral stories were associated with animals. There is always a comparison of a man’s personality with animals. I used to wonder why. Some examples are “pride of a lion”, “fast as a deer”, “intelligent as a hare”, “cunning as a fox” etc.

Are foxes cunning? They eat the remains. They need not be cunning to get that food. I still don’t understand why they are considered cunning. I also have no idea if hares are intelligent creatures. Well deer are fast. No doubt about it. Coming to lions so called “The King of the Forest”, I think they don’t deserve to be called as the kings. I find them lazy and boring. Noble? Ohh they fight like crazy. I feel they are not intelligent enough to be called kings.

My favorite animals are the elephants and tigers. Elephant is a vegetarian animal but stronger than many wild animals. I admire the soft but strong nature of elephants. Tigers, I feel are much more intelligent than lions. Tiger is called “The Queen of the forest” (Shouldn’t it be tigress? No I didn’t do research on that.) Their hunting habits are much more efficient than lions. And also their power of sensation. I wonder then why aren’t tigers the king? Well maybe because everyone accepts that females are the intelligent species!! (Sorry guys.)

If you find this post really boring I am sorry about that. I couldn’t spend much time on this but still I wanted to write. Let me include a very rare picture of 20 tigers together to do some amount of justice to this post.

It is a rare phenomenon to see 20 tigers together. Check it out!

Sorry. I didn't take this pic.

20 facts about me

Generally I don’t like bragging but being tagged I am forced to do so (err…).Here are the 20 facts about me.

1. I love arguing. I do this only with a few people. I generally nod my head to boring lectures.

2. I speak really fast. My speed sometimes goes up to 22 lines per minute. My Prof asked me to slow down during a presentation and I had a tough time. (so did the other students)

3. I believe in this. “ I don’t want a certain number of friends. I want a number of friends I can be certain of.” Yes I am very much attached to a small number of friends.

4. I am a happy person because I take many things easy. It is really difficult to hurt me.

5. Americans find me attractive. (Truth!!) I was flying when they were so open to say this but….Indians don’t. What is the use? My dream man happens to be a tall, dark and handsome Tamilian with sharp nose and big eyes. I call him Samanth.(after the hero of a tamil novel)

6. I am a vegetarian. I am on the top of the food chain among humans. I can stand people eating non veg. I don’t mind even if they want to eat it in my plate. But however I just can’t stand the smell of cooking fish or mutton.

7. I love to read and write poetry in Tamil. I have helped my friends by giving them really romantic poetry to impress someone. (Anyone wants help? U can contact me!)

8. Every new thing excites me. So easy to make me excited and happy.

9. I don’t generally care for what others think. I try to be honest in telling what I think. . Few people like this kind of openess.

10. Majority of my friends happen to be guys. I bet every guy who is my friend treats me as a guy too. Of course there is lot of boyish character in me and I am proud of that (deepest secret). I also feel 90% of the girls are boring (in the place where I grew up).

11. I hate getting up early in the morning. When I get up I look at the alarm clock with immense hatred and anger. Of course the clock is not mine. I even feel like throwing it out.

12. I have never been to kitchen (for cooking) before I came here. For 21 years my mom used to make beverage for me every morning as soon as I get up and make me drink it. I don’t even wash the cup. But now look at my plight. I cook every weekend and store the food for rest of the week. I learnt cooking by experimenting (on people too!!). Now I realize how sweet home is.

13. Music is my passion. I love singing and listening to music. All kinds a music are good- karnatic, hindustani, light etc. In light music harish raghavendra is my favorite.

14. I love people who care for me. Though they are rude to me I always understand that they want a better me.

15. I have traveled almost every state in India except Gujarat. Not only me my mom and my dad also love traveling.

16. Being the only lovely (??) daughter to my parents I am very much attached to them. I spend a lot of time talking to them esp. during the weekends.

17. I like philosophy - Western as well as oriental. I like Ayn Rand and also Nietzsche.

18. During my undergrad I have never missed any dumb Vijayakanth movie. My friends and me occupy the majority of the empty seats in the theater and comment like anything. More dumb the movie is more the comments and hence more the fun. I have even travelled in the footboard of a crowded bus to get the ticket for a dumb Vijayakanth movie. (Because I know the film will not be in that theater more than 3 days of its release.)

19. I love playing cards. Very few people can beat me in rammi. None can beat me in mangaatha. (Got training from a professional rowdy in one of the platforms of Chennai.)

20. My first crush is my professor in undergrad. (err he looks good...)

Now it is my turn to tag. I don't want to tag but I think it would be fun in knowing about the Monk.

Oh Dustbin I am crazy for u

“Dear Dustbin, I had been dreaming about u for the past 3 weeks. U distract me a lot. I had been waiting for so long because I didn’t know how to express my deepest feelings for u. I am madly in love with u. Dustbin please accept my proposal. I will die if u reject. I am so crazy for u.”

This was my first proposal for love in my life. It happened during my first year of undergrad. Yes in a Govt. college ragging goes out of control. Ragging – a fun game for the seniors but a nightmare for freshmen. In college campus ragging is between the opposite sex and in hostel it is between the same sex, so that every senior gets a chance to rag. (What an idea)

“Among we three who looks really handsome? Tell us.” One among a gang of three guys sitting on the wall asked me. (All the three of u look equally horrible and am I here to pick the best of rotten? What a plight?) Then I decided to act really smart, pointing at the guy who asked me this question I said “ It is u anna (brother) no doubt about it.” The other two guys did have lots of fun afterwards.

I was also asked to do crazy things such as measuring the length of a 3m long grill with a pen cap. Then sing the song “O Maria” like this “A Maria then B Maria" and so on. Among girls I was the top most target because they felt I hold my head high while walking. (Dumb reason? They just say that!!)

The guys were in a bad shape too. I saw them coming to college in a dothi, white shirt and yellow bag (manja pai) for carrying books. I was reminded of Vaanavaraayan (Rajinikanth in ejamaan) on seeing them. They were also made to go on a frog race all around the campus. (poor guys)

Ragging really made us feel embarrassed. But now when I think back I feel, ohh I could never do such crazy things again in my life. I just laugh at those times. The most ragged girl (me) got the greatest number of friends ultimately. Wow that's the advantage.

Things were even more exciting when we became the seniors. We took care that our juniors enjoyed the joke and did not cry. I ragged a girl like this.

Me: What is ur name
Girl: Shankari
Me: u from?
Girl: Sivakasi
Me: Does ur family own a cracker shop?
Girl: yah we do. We specialize on rockets.
Me: Ohh just like Abdul Kalam? Now start the count down to launch a rocket to moon.

It ultimately became a kind of inheritance. I believe in Govt. colleges it only increases year after year. As long as things don’t go really serious ragging is fun. Most of my seniors who are my friends are the ones who had badly ragged me. Best way to face it is “TAKE IT EASY ….KOOL.” Soon u will enjoy!!!